How Do I Build the Muscle of Commitment?
After years of spinning—across careers, cities, and ideas—I’m finally learning how to anchor. This is the practice that’s helping me commit.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about movement vs. motion.
Sometimes it feels like I’m doing everything—writing, building, planning—and yet going nowhere.
Other times, the simplest action—walking, eating, doing one thing at a time—gets me further than hours of hustle.
A friend of mine, Akano once told me something that stuck:
“Know the difference between spinning and moving. One stone at a time to cross the river.”
This post is about that.
It’s about commitment—not as a personality trait, but as a practice.
A muscle you build by slowing down, choosing fewer things, and showing up with presence.
Whether you’re trying to rebuild your focus, heal from burnout, or finally get one project off the ground—this post is for you.
1. Know the Difference Between Spinning and Moving
My friend Akano said:
Know the difference between spinning and moving. One stone at a time to cross the river. Simplify. Eat. Drink. Walk. And then the next step.
Step 1: Catch your pattern
Here is where you catch your pattern of over committing or not committing.
How does this show up in your life — career, relationships,
Are there any similarities in how this shows across different areas of life…
Step 2: Go back to the basics
I firmly believe → how you do one thing, is how you do everything.
So just like my friend said…
If you’re overwhelmed and can’t commit to anything
OR if you are committing to everything and then dropping the ball
Commit to: SLEEP, EAT, WALK
Try it for a week…and just commit to the above and nothing else.
2. Practice Commitment on Micro-Levels
Start small.
You can turn the “commitment plan” you made above into even smaller tasks, and REPEAT THEM DAILY.
Try:
“I commit to washing my dishes daily”
“I commit to showing up on time for one appointment”
“I commit to writing my newsletter this week, even if it’s not perfect”
The key: Follow through. Not perfectly. Just consistently.
2. Practice and Affirm Self-Commitment Daily
When you wake up and you’re brushing your teeth:
“I am committed to making my bed.”
“I am committed to washing my dishes.”
“I am committed to working on my business.”
“I am committed to my partner.”
If you’re doing something you don’t like, take a breath and repeat:
You’re not just doing a chore — you’re training a new way of being.
3. Slow Down to Speed Up
This isn’t just about doing less.
It’s about doing less so you can listen.
When you stop distracting yourself with tasks, ideas, and productivity…
You start to hear what really matters.
At first it may feel uncomfortable. But in the quiet, answers rise.
So train yourself to think:
“The less I have on my plate, on my to do list…the better”
Society taught us to juggle 10 things at the same time. To value toxic productivity above all else.
It’s OK to dream. To have ideas, and be creative. Brainstorm all of your ideas. Write them down. Put them into a beautiful backlog.
Then choose the best one
Commit
And start.
4. How You Show Up Matters (Not Just That You Do)
It’s not just about showing up consistently.
It’s how you show up.
If you sit down to work and your mind is frantic, doubting, negative—you’ll burn out.
Start by grounding. Before your first task, breathe.
Visualize your day going well. Say:
“I am excited to work with ease, joy, and clarity today.”
5. When Lack of Commitment is Actually Perfectionism
Perfectionism doesn’t always look like neatly color-coded planners or obsessively polished work.
Sometimes, it looks like never launching.
Never finishing.
Always pivoting to the next idea before the last one has a chance to grow.
It’s the fear of putting something out there that isn’t ready.
Of being misunderstood, judged, or simply ignored.
So instead, you keep tweaking, keep researching, keep reworking the plan.
You convince yourself you’re being “productive,” but deep down, you’re stuck. You’re just afraid to be seen halfway.
I’ve lived this.
I used to think I had a productivity problem—when in reality, I had a perfectionism problem.
I couldn’t commit to the imperfect version of the idea, so I jumped to the next one.
Over and over again.
In Internal Family Systems, this is often a protective part—trying to keep you from the pain of rejection or failure.
And in Cognitive Behavioral Science, it’s a classic cognitive distortion: all-or-nothing thinking.
As Viktor Frankl reminds us, we don’t need perfect clarity to live with meaning. We need the courage to act, to choose, to commit—not because we know the outcome, but because something in us says: this matters.
Sometimes you are both committing because you either can’t begin or can’t finish. Not because you can’t decide.
And what you really need—is to begin AND to finish.
Build the muscle of DONE
SHIP
LAUNCH
SHOW
SHARE
How Do I Practice Commitment in All Areas of My Life?
1. At Work → Do a Weekly Commitment Scan
Review your calendar every Sunday
Ask: “What did I say yes to that I actually want to say no to?”
Cancel or move 1–2 things. Reclaim your energy.
1. At Work → Commit to One Thing At a Time: Block Time With Intention
Pick a 2-hour block.
Write down TWO THINGS you’ll do in that time.
Ignore everything else.
And “force” yourself to start.
It might take you 15 minutes, maybe even 45 minutes to get into your tasks
But eventually you will.
If you get distracted remember and repeat:
I committed to finishing the draft of our Q3 marketing plan presentation.
2. In Entrepreneurship → Commit to One Project: Start Small
You don’t need to launch your life’s purpose overnight.
Start with one project.
One newsletter a week. One course. One prototype.
One of my friends built a successful 50K newsletter.
It wasn’t his final business vision, but it taught him how to commit.
Now he’s running a venture-backed AI start-up. Nothing to do with his 50K newsletter, that still brought him connections and some brand recognition to launch his venture.
It started with a tiny weekly habit.
The same is true for you.
Tiny “projects” add up.
They open new doors.
They stack.
3. In Relationships: Speak Your Truth With Compassion
Before committing to things:
It’s important to check in with yourself before you say yes to doing something.
If you don’t know simply say:
“I don’t know right now. Can I get back to you as soon as I know, or closer to the date?”
If you feel overwhelmed and have other things to do, say that too:
“That sounds like fun. I have a lot going on right now., I’d love to do another thing with you later.”
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh.
They just need to be honest.
You’ll still overcommit sometimes:
The key is to repair with grace.
Try this:
“I took on too much. I’m sorry—I need to cancel. I’d love to plan something soon.”
“This week got overwhelming. I would like to hang out when I can show up fully.”
“Let’s sit down and discuss which one of these projects is a priority. I would like to give the one that’s most important to the business my 100%.”
Commitment isn’t just about productivity.
It’s about self-trust.
It’s the quiet promise you make to yourself when no one is watching.
You don’t have to commit to everything.
You don’t have to do it perfectly.
But you do have to start—and finish.
Because in a world that rewards spinning, you get to choose what really moves you.
One stone at a time.